#42. Crsystal Clear

It is that scent that refuses to go away-
The olfactory signature of your presence.
Of all the senses we had been blessed with,
I am reassured by the sense of smell.
And I am never de-sensitized, never at all.
The sensation gets more intense by passing time.
And it tricks my mind, like MSG, like aspertame,
For in your absence, I still feel you with every inhale.
It feels like streaks of electric blue
And shards of neon pink
And a whole lot of antique wood and stainless steel.
Sometimes it feels like newspaper,
or some brand new notebook and a rustic diary.
On rare instances it feels very organic,
Like some unidentifiable fruit that I seem to know,
and even at times it feels like the scent plastic burning,
Like soil on a rainy day, and even snow.

#41. On Tax Exemptions and A New Boyfriend

I'm still struggling with the absence of my personal laptop. I am also struggling with the absence of a working TV set, cable network and a reliable internet connection in my Makati home. Good thing I have a very fun neighborhood that keeps me entertained more than TV or The Internet can. I am semi-struggling with the bigger role I am taking in my not-so-new job. And for the past five days, I've been struggling to ward off an impending sore through/cough. 

Well, I've been struggling living with HIV for half a year now, and all the shit it entails. Seems like I've been struggling a lot lately, but really, I'm happy to announce, someone's struggling with me- my new love.

#40. Status Update

So I survived my first week at work. It wasn't really difficult because I'm just a returning employee. I'm working under a new team composed of old familiar faces.

I don't have a personal laptop so as much as I would like to update more often, I just can't. I don't have a company issued laptop yet as well and I don't think I want one considering the workload that I might potentially take home once I'm issued with one.

Just a quick update of how things are going for me:

#39. The Cockroach and Zithroshit

Kaninang Hapon sa Bagnet 8065 sa may Makati, Here's the picture:

A table. On it were a giant rice cooker, a stack of plates (about 12) with a cup on top of the first plate. Ang cup na ito, I suppose, ay pang takal ng kanin. Then theres a pile of disposable utensils beside the plate stack. Everything was static except for a wandering creature sa may gilid. Akala ko namamalik-mata ako kasi mga 70 minutes na kami naghihintay ng food namin, ganoon katagal ang serving time. But further observation revealed that the entity hovering above the plates and the cup was a:

Image from: http://www.indiaoutsidemywindow.com

Nakakaloka.

#38. Love in the Time of HIV

So I broke up with Froy two days ago. I never thought it was going to be very difficult. I felt like I was going to pass out. Ganoon pala ang feeling ng wala ka nang luhang mailabas. Sobrang sakit na mahirap. As always, nagsuka ako sa sobrang stress.

I've never heard Froy cry like that. I will always remember that cry. It was almost eerie and haunting. It was like a cry of bereavement. Like someone died. Like I died.

I didn't expect it. All along I thought he would take it lightly. But I had to be firm. We had a wedding to attend that evening. After an hour, he managed to compose himself. I must give him credit for being so resilient and being so understanding. For being such a man.

He asked me if I had another. I said no.