#46. Brother

I have always wanted to write something about you for so long. Maybe ever since I started I learned how to write, but when I do, I seem to just run out of words somewhere in the middle, and I end up with an unfinished piece. I cannot seem to put one cohesive piece about you, and all I could write about you are fragments which do not tell much of a story. Now that we’re both older, I’m beginning to realize that if I just summed up all those little stories about you I’ve written in the past and scraped off, maybe I would have put up one solid piece about you already.

On the other hand, I also suppose- maybe it’s how you are meant to be told about, broken down into portions, short, brief, incomplete- however you call it. After all, there is some strange beauty and a mystifying clarity with something presented in isolated portions. Just like those Haikus and Proverbs in the bible. And yet again, I wonder, maybe you are not meant to be told about at all. But that’s too harsh because I smile more than I frown when I think about what we’ve gone through ever since. You will always deserve to be told about. So here is yet another attempt to do so.

#37. Mother

You've never cooked for us, and you don't even know how to clean the house. You nag quite a lot, especially to yaya. You change your mind so often that it sometimes appears you don't have a stand on issues. You can't even decide on which meals yaya will prepare for the day. You don't prepare papa's merienda. You throw away things, which in the end, we still need. You are disorganized, cluttered, and a whiner. 

Sometimes I feel that you don't know me so well. 

You were always scared to talk to us, your children. So you end up spying on our lives through each other. You ask about me through sister, and you ask about sister through brother, and you ask about brother through me or through sister. You love to pry on my private stuff which I really hate. You panic buy grocery items whenever you hear one of us say "masarap ito". You like to deny things, always scared to admit if you are at fault. 

#31. Father

My father is probably the most paranoid person I have come to know in this lifetime. His imagination is so wild that it becomes difficult to make sense of what he wants  to convey. Most of the time, his paranoia is so compelling that we would just want to drop any activity we would like to engage in. 

Our house feels like a garrison with too many padlocks here and there. Each of our bedrooms have peep holes installed, and part of opening a door would mean looking through the peep hole each and every time. There are also some doors with locks outside, particularly the bathroom, so in case a burglar comes in through the bathroom, he cannot advance further in house. These outside locks must be locked every night.

#29. William

To be honest, I've lost track of how many times this has happened: I explore the world with something else in mind, then I meet someone who happens to like me as well, all classified under "extra-marital status". I've always thought that the disease would tremendously change the face of the game, but it appears it has not. In fact, I'd like to believe that I have actually tapped a market that was once untouched, further offering variety and assortment. 

I met you through a friend, Dominique. We were introduced about some weeks and weeks ago before I wrote this one. I don't even remember what your name was, and to be honest, I didn't bother asking you or her again for your name. All I remember was I asked you about a piece of gadget that you wanted to replace, and that was it.

#26. A Conversation With An Old Flame

Brief background:

The year was 2011. We met  at the time you were already in a relationship with someone for almost two years already. I was already taken as well, (til now.) The first time I saw you, I just fell in love. Your striking Japanese breed was simply irresistible and you had a very attractive built. Those melancholic eyes always spoke more than what you would verbally indicate.

As expected, we had all the romance in between. And I must say, It was one of the toughest, most intense and heartbreaking situations ever. Literally, all we had were a few stolen moments. Usually very brief, yet very sweet.

You were the first guy to ever give me a kiss in public.

Realizing that the romance was doomed to failure, I abruptly cut the communication with you, until late last year.

And then two nights ago, we had this conversation:

#12. Ronnie

Ronnie,

Sa lahat ng mga minahal ko, I would say, ikaw you classified under "the one that got away"

As always, ako may kasalanan.

#11. Froy

Froy,

After almost two to three years of carnal indulgence, I finally decided that I wanted something more permanent. You see, boys and cocks come and go. I often go home with a busted nut and an empty heart, and I wanted to change that.

#10. Jose

Jose,

Sa totoo lang, ikaw ang nagpatunay sa akin na hindi palaging totoo na first love never dies. Hindi naman kasi ikaw ang first love ko, ikaw yung pangalawa, pero sa lahat ng mga minahal ko, ikaw ang pinakaminahal ko at ikaw ang nagpaikot ng mundo ko.

#8. Ave Maria

Ave Maria,

You are one of the very few best friends.

#7. Errol

Errol,

Tonight, I remember you.

#5. Aaron

Aaron,

I met you at work, and eventually, what shouldn't have happened just happened. It was such a big boo boo. I know I shouldn't have gotten into a relationship with a coworker, but I thought back then that you were the perfect guy. Perfect skin, perfect body, fine taste for food and dining, didn't smoke, didn't drink, a masters degree up your sleeve and of course the romance that came in between.