#47. The Past Three Months

I haven't died. I've just been in a series of limbo these past few weeks. 

And every time I attempt to write something, I end up with nothing at all. It seems that I am crawling back to the dark side- that part of me that just wants to be alone and disconnected from everything else. I just want to be alone, speak to no one and just day dream the day and night away.

Among the notable anti-social attempts I got myself into, the most impactful is probably deactivating my twitter account. Initially, I just wanted a hiatus from 140-character world, but I ended up forgetting to reactivate my account within 30 days. In other words, my twitter account is gone for good. And this isn't a bad thing, I really don's miss it at all. Besides, it has served its purpose well. It just feels kinda sad because I had some 3,000 tweets in there. I would've loved to keep an archive but oh well. Its gone. For good.

I also ended up deactivating my Facebook account for a little while. All those food photos and selfies just make me want to vomit my guts out. Lately I've been getting ridiculous messages from people asking me to like pages and photos for God knows what reasons in the most unholy hours of the day. And so I took the easy way out- I deactivated myself, which lasted for about 2 months or so. But now I'm back and I'm realizing there's still this need in me to be updated by lurking around the walls of the people relevant to me.

I would've deactivated instagram as well, but there was no way to do it.

On other news- my "ber" months have been mostly consumed with thoughts about career, whether to stick to my comfort zone or make that career move. 

For the nth time.

And so here's a brief summary:

1.) I'm going to take an 8.70 something percent paycut and decided that I am taking my skills and knowledge somewhere else- to where I took myself after I left the glitzy airline industry. Its a margin I can absorb well with my current situation, and considering the trade-off's like the other allowances and the tools of the trade, it's not a bad cut to take after all.

2.) I'm taking a good friend from the office with me. We played around submitting her resume and she got an offer. So we're leaving together. I just can't leave without taking one with me. It's just not me.

3.) The Zidovudine is fucking up my lab results and i'm going through some shit with the clearances. It's manageable but I realized I could be skipping all this hassle if not for the Zidovudine. Heck if not for this stupid HIV.

4.) Mukhang smurf si Honesto.

from Starmometer.com

4.) I've finally managed to stop gaining weight and am actually losing some. I'd like to maintain this weight but would like to trade a significant amount of fat for some muscles. It's just to hard to gain form and sculpt up. Nakakatamad mag gym, putangina.

And having said these things, I will write a ubiquitous New Year's keme for 2014. I expect to write more since I have already negotiated the purchase of a laptop from someone I know. 

Yey!