Recently I’ve been attending these poz
gatherings, and it’s fun actually.
Way back, when I hear “poz gathering” it
sort of sounds like an occult rendezvous where there are human sacrifices to be
made. It’s like an underground meeting meant to revive a fallen devil.
Turns
out that it’s not. It’s just like any other gathering where we get to meet
other people. Nevermind the fact that we’re all diseased, it’s just really a
great way to see other people of our kind.
But of course, there are inevitable
surprises. Some people have actually known each other for such a long time
outside the showbiz circle.
Bunyagan ng kulam, as we call it.
Nevertheless, we get over it, move on, and realize that there’s more to life or
the disease that binds us all at the end of the day. And so I wonder, some few
years from now, will I ever see a familiar face from my social circle and get
the surprise of my life?
Well, I wouldn’t be so surprised if I do. It
might shock me, but as I’ve said, just like the others, I’d probably just shrug
it off and move on eventually.
Come to think of it, I’ve not really much
to hide. My family and some closest friends know about my condition, and I’ve
learned to treat it just like anything else in this world. It’s not some dirty
little secret, but its not something I’m also willing to divulge just for the
heck of. I guess this is where I draw the line between “privacy” and “liberation”.
Picture this: if my parents didn’t know of
my status, would have I told them? I seriously don’t know. But if Piolo Pascual
suddenly comes to me and asks me of my status on the spot, I’d probably even
present my confirmatory result to him. I guess what I’m trying to say is that
there’s probably really no need to hide. And ironically, if it's something we'd like to treat normally, then we probably can just present our diseased selves nonchalantly. Perhaps the only “fear” or
anxiety that we experience at the thought that others might know of our
condition is just demons that we ourselves have created. I’m not sure if these
statements are making sense, and I agree that it’s highly debatable, but I’m
just speaking on my behalf.
Anyway...
It’s really been a long, long while since I
got really drunk. After 6 bottles of beer, I was served with this really
colorful cocktail that tasted so divine. And after a few gulps I was turning
silly and feeling funny and heady and all. In short, l was getting drunk. And a
few sips more, I was at home already puking my to become sober.
Three times.
It was fun, actually. Well, I didn’t know
what implications this would have on my health moving forward, as my doctor
always reminded me- NO DRUGS, NO ALCOHOL. (apparently, smoking is allowed). But
hey, I probably won’t get so wasted for the next few months, and it’s actually
just a great way to reaffirm the fact that indeed, my life is, and can still be
normal. I’m not saying that the basis of normalcy is alcohol, it’s just one of the many
criteria that I've chosen to use as a basis.
Some old poz peeps are saying that there
used to be just less than ten of them attending these gatherings, and the
number is growing faster than our fingernails do. It’s not such a good thing from a
clinical perspective, but perhaps for us who belong to the statistics already,
it could actually be something interpreted as “fine” or an incident that can be
classified as “okay”. Again, this is highly debatable. But I know you know what
I mean. Maybe the next gathering can be held at the PICC. Who knows?
Will I ever attend another one of these gatherings?
Chances are, yes, I will. There’s this innate curiosity to put faces behind all
these twitter avatars and the desire to bond with our kind. Most of them are surprisingly fun, i must admit.
There was one lost soul there last
gathering and he arrived when the party was already waning. He was at the
height of his emotions, and despite our reassurance to him that things are
going to be okay, he asked me:
“Why are you guys happy?”
Well, you know who you are, and you may not
realize it yet, but really, the answer to your question is quite simple.
There’s so much in life to be happy about. J
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