#32. I Want To Skip This Phase

I want to skip this phase.

I only want to begin in the middle, or in the moving on phase. I want to skip the process of breaking up, I just want to deal with the moving on. It breaks my heart that along the way, I have dragged along so many good people with sincere intentions into this misery of mine in my pursuit of true happiness- such that I don't even know if really existed in the first place.

I am so confused whether I should break loose or hang on. I want to skip this part. I wish I wake up tomorrow and be given a circumstance that's been pre-decided upon for me. A series of events that I would just have to handle and eventually accept.

I want to skip this part where I am in the authority to break someone's heart. I wish he'd decide for me whether to continue or stop this madness. I don't have the balls for any of these after all. 

I want to skip this part where I am about to start all over- with my new job and potentially a new relationship, or the fact that I might be single again. I want to fast forward to the stable phase where I could be more in control.

I wish life would spoonfeed me.

I want to skip this part where I will cry, where he will cry, and the other one might cry. I want to skip the indifference part. I want to fast forward to the friendship phase right now.

I want to skip this phase.